This Always Happens

Whenever we have a good discussion post, the same thing happens! I get too wrapped up in approving and reading all the responses to get a post together for the next day. It’s getting dark here so early – this photo was taken before 4pm! Looking outside my window and watching it get dark puts pressure on me to get home quick! I feel like drivers are grumpier when it gets dark early.. and I cycle past a popular mall so it’s busier than normal. (All those distracted, stressed-out shoppers texting while they drive home – scary! You might think I’m being dramatic but when I bike, I can see what they’re doing in their cars…)

But on the other hand, packing up and leaving while it’s light outside would leave too many things unfinished. I’m looking forward to long, summer nights again!

(this photo turned out pretty, with the traffic lights in the background. only one of those plants is real and it’s not the one with flowers!)

So here I am, writing a quick post before another dark bike ride. (Because once it’s already dark out, what’s the point in rushing home?) Although I am looking forward to the ride home, there’s a lot on my mind tonight!

I loved reading about your partners and their support of your sewing hobbies. There were so many nice stories and cute things your spouses have done to support your hobby! And for some of you, it’s more of an issue. I’m thrilled to hear that for the majority, your partners understand that sewing’s important to you, even if they don’t quite share the same fascination. I was actually thinking there would be more complaints in the comment section!

I enjoyed this comment from Marie, that is interesting whatever your situation is!

My husband’s pretty good at spotting fit issues, though not that great about verbalizing them (“it’s kind of weird – there”).  He’s also good at talking me down from sewing rages (“no, don’t cut it all to pieces, put it down and look at it tomorrow”).  His computer and my craft/art/sewing space are in the same room so we spend a fair amount of time together.

That said, flipping through all the comments made me think of something.  I once dated a guy who had an obsessive hobby.  Nothing wrong with the hobby (car stuff), but it was seriously obsessive.  Nearly every night he worked on cars and whole weekends were swallowed by track days.  What was at first really fun came to seriously suck.  I was bored and felt neglected and despite being interested in cars (and doing some stuff of my own with them) ended up completely sick of sitting through dinners where that was all that was discussed.  Maybe if I had been as into cars or had an equally engrossing hobby to spend time at things might have worked out.  But I didn’t and I don’t and it really just killed things.

I’m sharing this because I think it’s important to be able to step back and assess how much time you’re spending with your hobby.  Husband and I have a variety of hobbies – some we share and some that are our own.  Nothing, however, is allowed to overwhelm everything else.

An excellent reminder for someone like me, who tends to obsess and let my love of sewing take over my thoughts, all the time. And work all the time, and feel like I can never get enough done. Don’t let it overwhelm everything else – step back and assess how much time you devote to any one part of your life!

Ok, now it’s really dark. Time to pack up and face the rainy ride home!

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27 Responses to This Always Happens

  1. Kat November 23, 2011 at 6:23 am #

    Hehe your comment about how you can see what drivers are doing makes me glad that I live in the UK and therefore don’t cycle past the drivers side of the car…I think I prefer not knowing how irresponsible they are being! Having said that, when I am in the passenger seat of a car and can see all the drivers in cars alongside, seeing people texting and smoking while driving really makes me cross. Grrr!

    • Tasia November 23, 2011 at 2:11 pm #

      Oh I know! And now, when it’s dark, all you see is the glow from their iphone or blackberry lighting up the front seat of the car. I’m on to you, texting drivers!

  2. Caroline November 23, 2011 at 6:39 am #

    Whoa. Really good point from Marie. I better find some other things to obsess over, STAT. Like moderating comments. ;)

    • Tasia November 23, 2011 at 2:11 pm #

      I think I’ll always border on obsessive, that’s my nature! It’s a good reminder to step back once in a while and just do something fun that has nothing to do with work and sewing.

  3. Marie November 23, 2011 at 7:03 am #

    Wooooooo, I’m Sewaholic Internet-famous!

    :D

  4. Trisha November 23, 2011 at 7:58 am #

    Marie- you are a very wise woman.

    • Marie November 23, 2011 at 12:09 pm #

      Thanks.

  5. Mary November 23, 2011 at 8:10 am #

    Thanks to Marie I am going to skip sewing a third cowl top today and perhaps vacuum.

    • Tasia November 23, 2011 at 2:12 pm #

      Oh no! :) Just kidding. You’ll feel great when it’s all clean, and then you can get back to sewing the top!

  6. Doortje November 23, 2011 at 8:14 am #

    Finding the balance in everything is really important!

  7. Anne November 23, 2011 at 8:18 am #

    That’s a good thought from Marie, and I totally understand where she’s coming from, since my ex was obsessed with cars to the point where it contributed to the demise of our relationship. I think my interest in sewing is different because 1) I don’t spend huge amounts of money on it (it’s really hard to spend the kind of money on sewing that you can on cars, no matter how much fabric you buy!), 2) The results are more tangible to my significant other- I could never tell the difference when my ex put in a new turbo or whatever, but my current boyfriend can see me wearing and enjoying new clothes I’ve made, and 3) I try not to talk about sewing very much with him unless he initiates the conversation, and I monitor for clues that he’s getting bored with the conversation!
    You’re right, Tasia, it’s all about balance :)

    • Marie November 23, 2011 at 12:09 pm #

      Yeah, #1 definitely does factor into it. A lift, a welder, and a new engine and suddenly there’s no more money for that weekend trip you wanted to trip.

      • Tasia November 23, 2011 at 2:09 pm #

        Makes the fabric-spending seem quite reasonable then! :)
        Just being silly. I can imagine how much time and money he’d invest in a hobby like that – and then once the money’s spent, it doesn’t make sense not to spend more time putting that new engine into the car next, meaning more time and more money..

  8. Amy November 23, 2011 at 8:32 am #

    Good point from Marie. And, your camera rocks, Tasia!

    • Tasia November 23, 2011 at 2:08 pm #

      Thanks! I’m still figuring out how to take ‘interesting photos’ – I just got lucky that the lights looked all blurry and sparkly. (Turned the flash off, and I could hear the lens opening and closing really slowly..)

  9. Clio November 23, 2011 at 9:01 am #

    I agree with Marie! I guess it all boils down to striking a balance between making time for yourself (your own solo hobbies and interests) and making time for your relationship (time spent together focusing on each other and the things you love to do together).

    • Tasia November 23, 2011 at 2:08 pm #

      Yes! Exactly.

  10. wundermary November 23, 2011 at 9:32 am #

    AGH! As a former bicycle commuter, myself; people in cars are scary! I was once at a light and was watching the lady next to me opening and reading her mail as she let the car creep forward. I said “Hey lady, stop reading your mail and drive!”. She actually blinked at me in shock, then said “I’m not reading my mail.”, as if I couldn’t see what she was doing. I said “Whose mail are you reading?” and she put it on the passenger’s seat and put both hands on the wheel and looked forward, waiting for the light to change. Yowza!

    You’re all right, though. It’s all about balance. Like, I should be in the kitchen prepping veggies for tomorrow, but, I’m goofing off!

    • Tasia November 23, 2011 at 2:06 pm #

      Ahhh!! I can’t believe you called her out on it, and she put both hands on the wheel pretending it didn’t happen. I’d be afraid to actually say anything to anyone in a car, people can get really angry around here. Road rage and upcoming holiday-shopper rage, you know. I’ll just be super-aware of what others are doing and be ready to get out of the way!

  11. Lucy November 23, 2011 at 12:13 pm #

    Balance is a great thing. Maria’s comment reminds me of the boyfriend I had at university who got into rowing, and it was like he vanished off the face of the earth. Rowing is the ultimate team sport; you HAVE to show up to every practice, and he was out on that lake twice a day, six days a week. Because the first practice for the day was at 6am he’d go to bed at about 8pm and was too tired on his day off to do anything. He developed fantastic abs, pecs, and biceps – but since I barely ever saw him unless I bumped into him at uni, what was the point? In the end, it became such a poison that he had to make a choice (note: I didn’t force him to make one!); but I don’t think it should have reached that point. Mind you, there’s a reason that rowers tend to date other rowers!

    With my fiance now, he’s really into triathlon, which keeps him busy, but it does mean I get little trips away for his races, and he tries really hard to make sure we stay in nice places and have a little bit of time for fun after. And in the meantime, I have my sewing, and I also teach dog obedience. It’s super-important to have your own interests, otherwise what is there to talk about?

    • Tasia November 23, 2011 at 2:04 pm #

      Exactly! There is no point dating a guy with awesome abs if you never get to see him! And it’s important to have your own interests otherwise you end up becoming the same person, and lose what was attractive to each other in the first place.

  12. clare November 23, 2011 at 1:06 pm #

    I can vouch for the length of time it takes to read comments – I got so into reading them yesterday that I didn’t get to the end or round to mentioning my lovely partner who is a complete enabler when it comes to my sewing hobby! Texting drivers make me so cross – I also keep seeing people in transit vans and lorries driving with one arm while rummaging with the other. Stay safe on your bike!

    • Tasia November 23, 2011 at 2:02 pm #

      Oh I know! Or makeup, women putting on mascara with their eyes wide open, letting the car roll ahead. Scary scary drivers! Or the people that honk and scare the crap out of me!

      Although, I was riding home two nights ago on a really wet night and a girl at a bus stop yells out at me ‘You are so awesome! Good for you!’ for riding my cutesy upright bike in the pouring rain. That kind of made my day!

  13. Rachel November 23, 2011 at 1:40 pm #

    I’m completely with you on the drivers – I cycle and I try and ride routes that involve me coming across the least number of cars if at all possible. Do you have many bike lanes in Vancouver? We do here, but often the cars completely ignore them so you still have to be completely on the look out for danger all the time.

    • Tasia November 23, 2011 at 2:00 pm #

      There’s no real ‘bike lane’ from home to work, but there is a path going from my house to work. However, it’s not well-lit! So if I leave after dark, I’d be cycling through forests and dark bushes. Kind of creepy. I’ve done it once or twice and I’m terrified something will come out of the bushes!

      So when it’s that dark out, I ride on the road. There’s a busy street going directly from home to work, tons of traffic and very bright streetlights. Better to be dodging cars and bright lighting, than a special path that’s empty but completely dark! I wish there was a bike lane but I bet the same thing would happen – people would ignore them, or park in them.. Plus the street is paved nicely, and the path is bumpy and full of pinecones. Pinecones – the silent troublemaker for cyclists.

      I’m super alert when I drive on the street – talk about motivation to go as fast as you possibly can, when there’s a lineup of impatient cars behind you!

  14. jadestar November 23, 2011 at 3:25 pm #

    Speaking of scary drivers, I took a taxi once where the driver was ill. He kept leaning over and rummaging in the glove compartments of the car searching for tissue and medication. While driving on the highway!!! He kept veering into the middle of the road. I was petrified. I didn’t like to say anything as we were between towns at the time, and I was by myself. He answered his mobile too. Not a good experience to say the least. :(

  15. Erika November 24, 2011 at 1:27 am #

    Ouch! I would not like to bike there! Please tell me you’re wearing a reflex vest?! (is that even the english name for it? Well, you know what I mean. Hopefully.)

    Bicycling is a bit easier here; Ume√• has separate bike roads that are well lit, plus it’s illegal by law to text or read on your phone. It’s even illegal to hold your phone while driving. When sitting behind a wheel, one can only use the phone by talking through a headset. Of course, these laws are not followed to the letter. But most people tend to only want to break the law a little, so they hold the the phone when speaking into it, but they don’t text =)

    Also, I loved reading the replys to your last post. Marie’s words struck a chord with me yesterday, and I think she has some excellent points. Having separate interests are great (a future BF would not have to be totally into sewing, as long as he’s ok with me doing it) and it’s good to have some mutual interests. I’d find it hard to build a life with someone who point blank refuses to even try dancing!

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